Girls Weekend

So, I am really looking forward to a weekend with the girls.  Dustin had to go out-of-town for work this weekend so I will be spending my time with my friend Jayme (who so sweetly drove up from Tennessee to spend time with me) and Erin.  Perhaps even my baby sister if she's able to come up from Tennessee.  I always miss Dustin when he goes out-of-town and look forward to his return but this weekend I get to have a little girl time.  I'm looking forward to a trip to the movies, dinner, playing lots of board games, laughs, sleeping in, junk food and just some good ol fun! After the somewhat depressing week I had it is much needed.  Something also snapped in me yesterday.  I believe it has something to do with the prenatal massage I got.  I have had so much energy ever since I had it done.  We did about 4 hours of Christmas shopping yesterday and I still had energy left afterwards.  We attended our breastfeeding class last night and it has made me a "wee" bit more hopeful.  I'm not going to lie, I'm still terrified but I CAN DO THIS! It's such a huge dedication but I am going to give it 110 percent! Today I got up and started in on our filthy house.  I've sort of let it go this week due to the whole depressed attitude.  I probably shouldn't have vacuumed the house and bathed the DOGS, but I did and I felt good doing it.  I haven't given the dogs a bath since I found out I was pregnant.  They are big and heavy and just a pain to bathe and bending over the bathtub is not fun for a pregnant lady, but I pushed through and did it today and am so proud of myself! I finished getting the house straightened up because I'm hosting a Lia Sophia jewelry party tomorrow afternoon and didn't want people walking in to a dirty dog smelling house.  I feel so good today...maybe the nesting is slowly finding me :)

I'm so ready for a wonderful weekend, fun times with friends, meeting the 8th month mark in pregnancy and getting ready for Thanksgiving...MMM TURKEY oh and deviled eggs.  I'm craving my mother-in-law's deviled eggs so bad I can't stand it! I hope everyone has a happy weekend! Enjoy this beautiful fall weather!

To be honest...

This pregnancy is beginning to wear on me.  I never intended for this blog to become my pregnancy/baby outlet but I don't do anything but sit at home these days and dwell on baby clothes, baby room, baby cuteness, baby weight, baby hormones and baby's arrival.  I guess I just can't help it, plus this baby is the biggest part of who I am right now which results in baby posts.  I never wanted this blog to bore people but honestly it's just the biggest part of what's happening in my life right now so until baby arrives these will be my main posts.  Then I suppose it will be posts about baby is crying constantly and I'm exhausted, baby cuteness, baby's first bath, baby rolls over...somewhere in there I will just have to make time for posts about other things.  Plus as long as I'm doing this for me as an outlet it doesn't really matter, right?

Today I need to vent.  Lately, I have been feeling really guilty because I'm not enjoying this pregnancy as much as I should.  When I was young, my dream and ultimate goal in life was to be a wife and mother.  I couldn't wait to be pregnant.  I would play house and have a big pillow under my shirt pretending I was pregnant.  I can now say that it's definitely not what my 10-year-old mind thought it would be.  When I found out I was pregnant I was immediately over the moon happy.  I started thinking about what it was going to be like and if it would be anything like what I'd dreamed it to be.  It didn't take long to realize I would be wrong.  I have no reason to feel this way which makes it even harder to understand.  I have had the EASIEST pregnancy of all time.  No sickness whatsoever, no medical issues and a very healthy and perfect baby growing inside me.  I do not take that for granted and am so thankful for it but I just wanted to be this jolly and glowing pregnant lady.  It has literally made me feel like a completely different person.  Almost like I don't even know who I am sometimes.  I look in the mirror and don't even recognize myself.  The weight gain is a part of this, I know that, but it's hard for me to accept.  I've never been a small girl anyway and adding an extra 25 to 40 pounds is a lot for me to carry.  Rolling over that 200 pound mark really hit me hard and made me feel even worse about myself.  I have not one single stretch mark on my stomach, which is awesome, right? Well, the ones on my legs and sides make up for it and it's just so frustrating.  Stretch marks and I go way back so it's not like they are a shock to me.  When I hit my senior year of highschool I started to get them on my inner thighs and a few on my sides but I was still in shape.  I assume I got them from playing soccer but they have caused me to be self conscious ever since.  Now they are triple what they were and it makes my hate for them even stronger.  I look at pictures of just a year ago and thing I wasn't skinny but I felt good and thought that Hey! I'm pretty in that picture, but now ugly is not even the word for what I feel.  I just feel like if I can't change my thinking and attitude that these last nine weeks are going to drag and I'm going to be miserable.  I have heard of women that absolutely love being pregnant and that is what I always wanted.

Along with image issues, I'm starting to get nervous about birth, breastfeeding and everything that comes with parenting.  With her arrival coming up fast I realize that she has to COME OUT.  I really am praying hard for a smooth labor.  I do not want a c-section.  I would just be so disappointed if that happened.  Surgery does not sound like any fun so I'm hoping that I can push this baby out on my own.  I also plan on breastfeeding but am worried I won't be able to do it.  My mother did not breastfeed and my older sister only did it for a short time before switching to formula and I really want to be able to do it.  It's so much better for her and cheaper so I'm really praying that I am able to bear the initial pain of it and become a pro.

One last thing to discuss is probably just a woman topic but my libido is at a negative 10 and has been since the beginning of this pregnancy.  I've read books and talked to other woman and I know each pregnancy is different and that some women are extremely active intimately and others could care less.  I'm the later of the two and man does it make me feel guilty.  It's not even that I don't want to it's more that I can't without wanting to cry because it's painful.  I can't even imagine having to get a baby out at this point.  I'm even nervous for my 36 week appointment for when they start checking me for dilation.  I feel totally and completely sorry for my husband.  I feel like I'm a terrible wife for being so distant but it's not on purpose! I just keep reminding myself that it's only nine more weeks and that this will all be over in the blink of an eye.  I am trying my hardest to enjoy these last weeks but it's really not easy.  I am definitely ready to meet this baby and finally start feeling normal again.  I need to give this to the Lord and trust in him.  I know he will get me through this and that I will look back on it and wonder what I was so worked up about when I'm staring at a beautiful baby girl.  Faith and belief that it will all be ok is what I need to focus on and not all these petty things.

Does anybody else out there feel this way or did you feel this way when you were pregnant? I feel alone in this.  Like an alien has taken over my body.  If you have any advice or support it would be great!  Also, prayers would be very much appreciated.

And just to make 31 weeks official here's a belly pic...



 

30 Week Appointment

I just can't even believe we are already at the 30 week point in this pregnancy.  I can't even tell you where the time has gone.  I am actually closer to 31 weeks right now and that means single digit weeks are just around the corner.  Some days I think to myself that she will be here in NO TIME! Then other days I think the day will never come.  I really just can't wait to meet her.  Technically I'm already holding her but I want to hold her in my arms.  Once again, I remind myself, soon enough.  So let's get to appointment details shall we.

• We were supposed to have a 3D ultrasound done yesterday but when the technician started rolling the little probe thing around we realized we weren't going to get to see her precious face after all.  She was really low and head down, with her head facing my back so there was no way to even get a side view.  We did however get to see her body and she's a big girl! The last ultrasound seems like forever ago and the change in her size is crazy.  She's definitely running out of room in there.  Even though we didn't get the 3D picture we wanted, we still got to see her moving and kicking around in there and that's all that matters!


• I gained a total of 2 pounds in two weeks.  They say that a pound a week is about normal for the third trimester so I feel like I did ok.  However, my doctor still seems worried about my weight gain.  I'm up to 28 pounds total right now and I'm actually proud of that number.  I thought it would be much worse at this point.  He wants my goal to be under 35 and I'm all for that and will work my hardest but with 9 weeks left that may be a hard goal to meet.  We will see how it goes!


• Baby girls heartbeat was 153 bpm.  Still strong and doing great!


• My blood pressure was 102/60 which is really good.  Health wise I've done great.  No blood pressure, sugar, or cholesterol issues to speak of.  Yay!


• I got the all clear for travel at Thanksgiving, which means I will be able to visit Dustin's family in Virginia and attend the baby shower his mom is throwing us.  I was glad he said it was ok to go.  Just have to make sure and walk every 2 hours.


• I also got the all clear for some prenatal massages that my hubby so sweetly bought me.  I will be scheduling one for next week! So looking forward to it.


• As for me, I'm doing well.  I am losing energy daily but trying to still keep it around for as long as possible.  I am sleeping terrible at night.  I rotate sides at least 20 times a night and I'm pretty much miserable at night laying there.  I'm also swelling some most nights, hands and feet.  Thankfully it's just mainly at night though.  Other than that things are dandy.  Can't wait until January!

Messy Husband Vent

So I thought I had my wonderful husband trained pretty well when it comes to keeping our house clean.  If you know me, you know that I am ocd when it comes to keeping a clean house.  I will give him credit because he is such a good helper and really does do so much around here, HOWEVER, there are certain things I can not break and it drives me crazy.

Such as:

• Not stealing my hand towel at my side of the sink.  It takes two seconds to grab your own.


• Dropping off his work folder and papers on our kitchen counter every single night instead of taking it to his office.


• Junking up his night stand with the 50 items he keeps in his pockets.


• Starting laundry and not finishing it.  (Although I am pretty bad about this myself)


• And my biggest, most annoying, wanna choke him pet peeve is......

Shoes! Shoes being kicked off wherever he plops down at night, which is normally in the recliner in the living room (which is where both of these pairs are right now) or in the bedroom by his dresser.  I tell him all the time that this is what closets are for, but it just hasn't clicked yet.  I guarantee he will add his third pair to the mix tonight when he comes home....I'd almost bet money on it!

Baby, we are in the home stretch!

Today I have a really bad cold and can't seem to shake it, so be glad you are getting a post.  I've been procrastinating because my head feels like it weighs as much as my pregnant body.  I am thankful however that this cold did not set in until after my baby shower on Saturday.  It was such a beautiful day.  I was so overwhelmed with the love of family and friends.  I had people traveling in from even several hours away just to attend.  I was able to visit with friends I haven't seen in awhile and it really made me realize how much I miss them.  We received presents galore, ate some yummy food until we could no longer eat, played lots of fun games and then ate cake (and I only had ONE piece! oh yeah until later that night I may have snuck in another piece, shhhh don't tell anybody).  Thanks goes out to my sisters Jennifer, Leeha and Rachel and my best friend Erin for making the shower such an amazing and special day.  I will post some pictures at the bottom for your viewing pleasure.

As for life currently in the Salyer house things couldn't be better really.  I complain A LOT and sometimes forget that I should be very grateful for what I have.  Dustin has been working a lot more than usual lately which makes me a little bummed but I know it's needed right now.  With a new baby arriving in TEN WEEKS, Thanksgiving travels, Christmas shopping and last minute purchases for the nursery money is definitely tight, so I just need to be thankful that he has such a great job that allows him to work overtime.  I just get lonely sometimes sitting in this house all day.  I visit my mom several times a week and we spend hours talking, drinking coffee and playing yahtzee and scrabble which definitely helps me with my walls closing in on me, boredom.  I don't know what I would do if she didn't live ten minutes away!

As for how baby and I are doing.  Great.  I had a rough day yesterday with this cold.  I think it was causing her to feel bad as well.  She was tense all day and had her little elbows dug into my bladder and lower abdomen all day and would not relieve me for even a minute.  It was pretty painful and didn't help that I was already feeling terrible anyway.  I am also starting to hit that third trimester fatigue and not sleeping well at night.  I slept great during the second trimester besides getting up to use the bathroom.  Now, every hour I am having to rotate sides because I'm going numb on the side I'm laying on.  My feet and hands are starting to swell at night and I'm having night sweats.  Oh and we can't forget the lovely potty breaks.  I guess it's all just to prepare me for a future of no sleep anyway.  You're all saying "Amanda, get over it.  You will never sleep again when Emma comes!" Honestly, that's totally ok with me.  At least I will be waking up with purpose and for a good cause.  Right now I'm waking up because my body has been taken over by an alien!

Thursday I have my 30 week check up and I'm not going to lie, I'm nervous.  My last appointment I was determined that my weight gain would be perfect and right on track and for the last two weeks I just haven't cared.  Maybe it's because I am in that third trimester funk.  I didn't eat like I should have and haven't been on the elliptical as much as I should have.  I didn't get on there all weekend because of the baby shower and didn't yesterday or today because I feel like poop.  I just don't want to get on that scale and be totally bummed.  For two weeks I really shouldn't have gained anymore than two pounds but I feel heavy.  We will just have to see what happens I guess.  On a happy note, we are getting our 3D 4D ultrasound done that day (FOR FREE!).  I can't wait to see this precious angel up close and personal.  To be able to see all her features makes me smile like a kid waking up at Christmas morning.  I will update with a 30 week post and pictures on Thursday or Friday, so be looking out for that one.

Now for some shower photos!















 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh and my husband crashed the shower at the end but it was totally ok because he brought me a Salon gift card for two prenatal massages...he's the sweetest :)