What is Friendship?

To me, friendship is many things.  Friendship to me means forever.  Through ups and downs you get through the bad things because you know there are good things on the other side of those bad times.  Friendship is a bit like marriage.  You can't just quit when things get hard.  Friends are going to disagree, they are going to argue, they are going to fight, they are going to sometimes in the heat of the moment say things they don't mean but realize how silly they were and apologize.  You just don't quit because you disagree on things or you have a stupid argument.

The reason I'm posting about this is because a few weeks ago I went through a really difficult time with several of my friendships dissolving.  It was really hard.  It's hard enough losing one friend but to lose three was pretty rough.  I loved all three of those girls unconditionally and truly felt betrayed.  I will not go into specifics but lets just say what they did was very hurtful and deceitful.  I'm still not over it completely and I'm not sure if I will ever be.  It amazes me at how childish adults can be sometimes.  I'm also not saying that I'm perfect because I have my moments too, but to act cruel to somebody and not feel sorry about it or apologize for it after the fact is disgusting to me.

I am not a perfect friend.  If you know one please tell me because I've never met one.  I struggle to wrap my brain around the fact that I get treated like a plague when I didn't even do anything.  I would totally understand if I had done something or said something.  I will be the first one to call myself out when I do or say something wrong.  For years, pre-teen, teenage years and several years through my marriage, I was a very gullible and easily molded friend.  If somebody said jump I jumped.  If somebody said "get out of the front seat I'm sitting up there" I did it.  You get the picture.  I always wanted to please everyone around me even if it meant me being miserable.  In the past couple of years, through the help of one of my dearest friends, Erin, she has helped me learn how to stand my ground.  She's made me realize it's OK to stand up for myself and ensure I am happy while still being able to be a good friend.  I'm not afraid anymore to speak my mind.  If you are being selfish, ugly, lying, hurtful to yourself or somebody else, destructive, mean or angry I'm going to call you out on it.  To me that is what a friend does.  They hold you accountable for your actions.  If you can't take the heat stay out of the kitchen, right!?

I think my official quote thanks to Erin is "Quality over Quantity".  It's so true.  I don't need a hundred friends to make me happy.  I know that the few true friends that I do have will be around when I'm old and gray and that is all that matters.  I am still hurting over the loss of a few of my dearest friends but in the end if you can that easily treat a "so called friend" that way then you weren't a true friend anyway.  Once again I will say it.  You don't just QUIT because things get rough.  You work them out and forgive.  Forgive and forget and move on.  Right after this whole blowout I went on my Girls Trip Weekend and I was shown so much love by two of the dearest girls in my life.  I was shown what true friendship is and I'm so grateful and blessed to have this small group of people in my life.

What is Friendship to you?

What do you think is better, Quality or Quantity?

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